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(15 reviews)
Author: Helen Fisher
ISBN : 0805091521
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Format: PDF
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"Fascinating…. You may already have your dream lover, but you’ll want to read this for the many insights on the science of love."—The Boston Globe
"Why Him? Why Her? examines how brain chemistry determines temperament and temperament dictates whom we love…. [Fisher offers] a giddy, romantic notion, well worth considering."—Los Angeles Times
"In times of upheaval, nothing offers safe harbor like science. That’s where Helen Fisher comes in…. Her research led her inside the biological mechanisms of mate choice."—TIME magazine
About the Author
Helen Fisher, PhD, is a research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, and the bestselling author of four previous books, two of which—The First Sex and Anatomy of Love—were New York Times Notable Books. She is Scientific Adviser to Chemistry.com (a division of Match.com) and lives in New York City.
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- Paperback: 320 pages
- Publisher: Holt Paperbacks; 1 Reprint edition (January 5, 2010)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0805091521
- ISBN-13: 978-0805091526
- Product Dimensions: 0.9 x 5.4 x 7.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
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What would happen if, when stressed, rather than adopt the defense mechanism of projecting blame and motives onto others we don't know well, we could see the cards they've been dealt or the four clearly described personality types in this book? Regardless of location, we could spot: EXPLORERS (due to dopamine), BUILDERS (serotonin), DIRECTORS (testosterone) and NEGOTIATORS (estrogen). The author points out that the theory of four types, in one form or another, has been around for quite some time:
sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, melancholic (Galen)
hedone, propraietare, dialogike, ethikos (Aristotle)
artistic, sensible, reasoning, intuitive (Plato)
blood, phlegm, yellow bile, black bile (Hippocrates)
manic, depressive, aggressive, oversensitive (Kretschmer)
Her chapter titles for these types are: Drink Life to the Lees, A Pillar of Society, Always the Stars, The Philosopher King. She is very positive and educational in describing these types and I don't think many people will be turned off by her treatment of them. She includes many nice one liners and quotes as well as a mini autobiography of a famous person for each type.
The second half of the book addresses the question posed as the title of the book. She reports that all types can be very happy with any type and that there are dozens of factors from the "nurture" side that are involved in mate selection but from the "nature" side there appears to be a tendency for Explorers to want to be with other Explorers ("play mates"), for Builders to want to be with other Builders ("help mates"), both reflecting like attracts like and birds of a feather, for Directors to want to be with Negotiators and vice versa reflecting how opposites attract.